people who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people
sometimes you just need oral sex
can’t stand those dumb teenagers who insist on using “da” instead of “the” because they think it’s cool. leonardo DA vinci? seriously? it’s obviously leonardo THE vinci, you uncultured swine
sleep is for the weak more like sleep is for a week
- Person: "YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?!"
- Me: "Yeah..."
- Person: "SAY SOMETHING IN IT!"
- Me: -Forgets entire language-
the day is january 1st, 3009. a group of humans listen to boom boom pow. when fergie says that she is so 3008 they all stand shocked and realise. fergie is now behind the times. fergie herself has become 2000 and late. this is unbelievable news to the humans. hours later the planet descends into war and chaos.